G is for the Mommy Guilt Trips

I don’t think there is any mother in the world who hasn’t felt guilt at some point in her motherhood journey. Guilt becomes a women’s best friend once she becomes a mother.

Isn’t it sad? A Mom who gives her all to taking care of her baby, who sometimes forgets herself in it, keeps questioning herself.

We put too much burden on Moms; put them on a pedestal of sacrifice. So much so, that, if a mother thinks of giving herself a priority and doing something for herself, she feels guilty for such things.

“The very fact that you worry about being a good mom means that you already are one.”

-Jodi Picoult

The guilt gets ingrained so much in our brains, that we feel bad for taking a few minutes for ourselves. We forget that we are giving all our time and energy to our babies and family. And we deserve some time off too. How can it be selfish? It’s not selfish Mommy, its self-care. And you not only need it but well and truly deserve it, like everyone else in the world.

In the first year of motherhood, a Mom goes through so many challenges like breastfeeding, teething, etc. She always wonders; am I doing it right. And if there is a setback, she blames herself for it and feels guilty. It’s OK to feel guilty once in a while, but too many guilt trips can negatively affect your health.

Here are some major Mommy Guilt Trips of the first year of motherhood & Tips to survive them:

Feeding your baby formula 

This is one of the most common reasons Moms feel guilty, and the judging stares of some people doesn’t help.

Tips to Survive

• Whether it’s due to low supply issues, latch problems, getting back to work, or something else, you are not the only Mom in the world who is feeding her baby formula. And having your baby’s belly filled and steady growth is what matters than anything else.
• Yes, breast milk is best for babies, but formula-fed babies are equally healthy and thriving. No need to feel bad about it.

Taking some Me Time for Yourself

Does having a baby and becoming a mother means you stop being a human? A human who needs a break sometimes and a decent shower?

Of course Not! Then how taking some time for you to be a bad thing? You need to be physically and emotionally healthy to take care of your baby, so you deserve some me-time. Still, if you feel guilty, follow the advice below.

Tips to Survive

• Think of it as you are doing it for your baby’s well-being. Your baby needs a healthy and sane Mommy, and you are doing it for him.
• Take short breaks. In the initial months of motherhood, when your baby is too dependent on you, and you feel guilty for leaving him. Take small breaks of 10 or 15 minutes. Your spouse and family members can take care of your baby that long. And you won’t have to go through separation anxiety.

Asking For Help

Many Moms, including myself, are not good at asking for help. I remember an incident where my baby was not well, he was crying, being fussy, and he just wanted to be held or nursed. Hubby was in the office, and I couldn’t even go to the kitchen to make myself a snack.

Though my sister in law lived nearby, it didn’t even occur to me to ask for help. I had this stupid sense that it’s my duty to take care of my baby.

Tips to Survive

• Asking for help is not wrong, get that thought out of your head. It’s hard but necessary.
• You have to let go of the thought of “I can do it all”. It doesn’t help, and it can be self-destructing. 
• Accept that asking for help doesn’t make you a bad mother.

Milestone Delays

Every child is different, their weight, growth chart and milestones can be different too. Whether it’s rolling over, crawling, walking, or speaking, every baby does it in his own time. Yes, there is a timeline for it, but a few months late in the timeline is hardly a delay.

Although, if you feel the delay is higher than usual, you should consult a doctor. But otherwise, it’s OK to let the babies grow at their own pace.

What you should not do is feel guilty for any milestone delays. It’s not your fault Mommy.

Tips to Survive

• Consult your doctor if you have doubts. In most cases, it is just a natural pace of growing up for a baby. 
• Stop listening to others, people who comment he doesn’t sit yet? Crawl yet? They are not experts. They are just used to following a timeline of baby growth.

Mommies, don’t let the guilt ruin your precious time with your baby. Remember,

You are enough; all your baby needs is YOU.

Cheers to the Guilt-Free Mommying!

Note: This post is written as part of the #BlogchatterA2Z Challenge for the letter G.