Women have been always subjected to very high expectations, be it managing a home single-handedly or balancing career and family. And when she becomes a mother, the expectations increase tenfold.
Everyone, including women themselves, have unrealistic expectations from a mother to manage everything, be it baby care, household chores, or anything else. In short, be a super Mom or a perfect Mom even when she is sleep-deprived, tired, and exhausted beyond words. Though with time things are changing gradually, we still have a long way to go.
“There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.” —Jill Churchill
Sometimes even we put too many expectations and unrealistic motherhood goals for ourselves, and that costs us our peace of mind as well as physical health. I get it when we are pregnant; we imagine our motherhood journey a lot.
WE think, I will exclusively breastfeed, and I will hand wash all my baby’s clothes, and I’ll make baby food myself and not use store-bought food, no screen time, and so on.
So on top of family and friend’s expectations, we too expect too much from ourselves. And then life happens, things don’t go the way you planned, and you start doubting yourself. And the self-doubts lead you to feel guilty.
So How Do You Survive those Expectations?
Give up your own unrealistic motherhood Goals
Cut yourself some slack Mommy, you can’t do it all, and that’s fine. Not able to exclusively breastfeed? It’s okay, that’s why formulas were invented, tired of washing never-ending supply of your baby’s clothes; it’s ok to wash them in the washing machine. Go with the flow, adjust as per the situations.
Learn to say No
Learn to say no to the coming guests, learn to say no to your family’s demanding taste buds. It’s okay to cook the same, easy dish you made yesterday and day before that, and before that. It’s about priority Mommy, which is, of course, your baby and YOUR health.
Let the notion of super Mom Go
According to me, all Moms are super Moms, because they try their best, and give their best for their baby. So, whatever you are doing it’s enough, stop expecting so much from yourself, others do it already.
Being a Happy Mom is more important than being a Super Mom.
Find your tribe
Your tribe could be your best friends, fellow mothers, or just your Mom, but you should have a tribe where you can share all these things, someone who doesn’t expect anything from you, just be there and listen to you. Trust me it helps a lot. One of my close friends and I had our babies a few months apart. We talked, complained, and helped each other out of bad moments and worries so many times.
Be the mother your baby needs, who is human, who makes mistakes, fail sometimes, and still do her best for her baby.
Cheers to you all!
Note: This post is written as part of the #BlogchatterA2Z Challenge for the letter E.