There are no words to describe the amazing moment when you hold your baby in your arms for the first time. When you touch those tiny hands and feet and look into those sleepy eyes, and fall irrevocably in love with the little baby in your arms.
When you realize that there is nothing in this world you will love as much as this tiny miracle you have in your arms. And that’s what happened to me too.
When I held my baby for the first, I instantly fell in love and my whole life changed.
That’s what happens with most of the mothers too.
But this series I am writing is called “A2Z of Surviving First Year of Motherhood”. And that means, it’s not just about the happy and aww moments of motherhood, but it’s also about the hard and lousy parts and how to survive them.
And for some mothers, that hard part starts at the very beginning of the motherhood journey.
Because that amazing feeling, that falling in love with your baby instantly, doesn’t happen for them as they expected and were told about. They look at their baby for the first time and don’t feel the overwhelming love for him/her, and immediately start feeling guilty about it and questioning their selves.
And the worst part is, you can’t even share that with someone, because mothers are only supposed to feel abundant love for their baby from the start right? If you share this with someone, the chances of getting judged are pretty higher than people trying to understand.
Our culture and society teach us that mothers just feel overwhelming love for their babies, and nothing else; they don’t acknowledge the emotional and physical stress a new mother goes through.
They don’t understand that sometimes it takes time for a mother to bond with her baby.
And that it’s totally OKAY for a mother to feel that way! There is nothing wrong or shameful about it.
Motherhood affects every woman differently. Just like every mother is different, her emotions, her body, and her struggles are different.
“Motherhood isn’t what you say- one size fits all.”
Sometimes it takes time to get over from a hard pregnancy, or exhausting labor, or hormonal ups and downs to bond with your baby.
Or for some mothers, it just takes time to digest the arrival of a new person in life who is totally dependent on you.
All of it is just part of being a human, and people tend to forget that mothers are human too!
So what should Mothers do in such situations?
First of all, you should stop with the guilt, Mommy. You are not a bad mother, but just a new mother trying to find her bearings, and it is okay if it takes longer than you imagined.
And if you are really freaking out, you can consult your doctor about it. Don’t panic Mommy; let it happen in its own time.
Here are some suggestions to help you bond with your baby:
- Hold your Baby as much you can
Holding your baby close helps with bonding, skin to skin is even better.
- Talk to your Baby
Talk to your baby, sing for him/her. Your baby will recognize your voice; it will soothe him and help you in bonding.
- Baby Massage
Regular massage not only helps with baby’s overall growth, but it also enhances the bond between you and your baby.
Breastfeeding is a great opportunity to bond with your baby. While you nourish him, gaze into your baby’s eyes. Nursing your baby helps with attachment. If you are unable to breastfeed, just hold your baby close during bottle feeding, it will help too.
It could be 1 week after birth or 1 month. But trust me, Mommy, one sudden moment you will look at your baby and you will be forever hooked!
Until then, don’t think anything less about yourself or let anyone else do it.
Cheers to the Mom in You and the Mom in Me!
We all are A for Amazing!