In the first year of motherhood, especially in the first 3-4 months after the birth of your baby, your every thought, every moment, be it waking or sleeping, is all about your baby.
You are getting to know all about caring and nurturing your baby, learning the ropes of motherhood. Along with that, you are overwhelmed, sleep-deprived and, exhausted. You are so wrapped up in your motherhood; it’s hard to keep up with the world.
And it’s totally relatable as well as understandable. It’s a pretty normal thing for a new Mommy.
As the months go by, you get used to it all. You start getting the hang of this beautiful, as well as difficult motherhood.
But with all that, you are in dire need of a break, a mental and physical reprieve.
With your whole life is revolving around your baby, and you don’t know what is going on with the outside world. You don’t have anything else to talk about with others. And sometimes, you get lonely too.
I remember an incident when my baby was around 6 months old. A couple of our friends visited us to meet our baby. After playing with him a while, and oooh and aahing over his cuteness and actions, my baby fell asleep.
We adults shifted to another room for chit chat, and the conversation shifted from baby to other random things like some current affairs, and incidents that were going on around in our country, and the world at that time. And I didn’t know a thing about them, hadn’t even heard about some of those incidents.
I felt awkward sitting there among them, and then I started feeling angry, did they come here to meet my baby and me or discuss current affairs?
And in my baby surrounded brain, it didn’t register to me that not everyone will be obsessed with my baby. They have other things to think about too.
After a while, I realized I was being silly AND I was exhausting my brain. I was not giving myself any break from mommyhood. I was forgetting ME and isolating myself from the world.
I needed to think something else beyond baby vomit, poop, diapers, feedings and, worrying about my baby.
So, I made a few changes in my life and my thoughts, and I was feeling better about myself. Also, I no longer sat with awkward silence when people talked about something other than babies and motherhood. It kind of gave me my confidence back.
So here are a few ways to keeping up with the world, and not losing the (YOU inside you) in the motherhood, they helped me a lot, I hope they help you too:
Know about the outside world
You don’t have to sit and watch the news channels (How boring is that? And who has the time by the way? ). But when your husband listens to it, you can pay attention. Or when you are scrolling through your Facebook and Instagram notifications (I know you do it regularly, Mommy!), scroll through a news website every once in a while. Just seeing the headlines is enough sometimes. And you are all set, see that was easy.
Talk with a friend or relative
Talk with a friend (preferably one who doesn’t have a baby, otherwise two mommies will start about talking about their babies :D). Catch up with her life, do some girl talks. It really helps you refresh your mind.
Chat with a colleague or work friend
If you recently quit your job or are on a break, talk with a colleague about recent happenings in your office, or what’s happening on the work front. It also helps you with being up to date in your field and refreshes your mind.
You can research new trends in your field to keep yourself up to date.
(Note: If you get those judgmental vibes from your colleagues or friends, put the phone down as a.s.a.p.)
Catch up on your Grooming
When was the last time you visited a beauty salon? If your answer is before my baby’s birth, I totally understand. Who has time to do the grooming stuff? Visiting a salon when you can’t even take a shower in peace? Yes, the first year of motherhood and a few years after that are like that.
But please make time Mommy; it will do you a world of good. Once in awhile visit a parlor and get yourself pampered. Trust me, when you see yourself in the mirror after months of sporting those bushy eyebrows, messy bun and, hair that hasn’t been combed for days, it feels amazing. Give your dishevel mommy look a break, and look like the woman you were, and you are. It’s refreshing and necessary too.
Don’t forget the woman behind the Mommy.
What’s your strategy to keep up with the world, and not forgetting yourself in motherhood? Do tell me in the comments.
Note: This post is written as part of the #BlogchatterA2Z challenge for the letter K.