Do you find yourself yelling at your kids for minor infractions? Are you always frustrated and angry? You are having difficulty controlling your anger? Do you just snap at kids anytime?
If the answers to any or all of the above questions are yes, you might be an angry Mom or slowly becoming one.
Your anger may be costing you more than you realize. It’s toxic for your relation with your child and makes a negative impact on your parenting. It can create a negative environment and it also affects your health badly.
A Few months back I was the ‘angry mom’ doing all the things I mentioned above, it was affecting not only my home environment but my health too. It was an exhausting and difficult time for me.
But luckily I realized that I am having anger issues and decided to work on it. Six months later I can proudly say I am a calmer person than before. I still have some lapses and yelling days because you know ‘toddlers are impossible sometime’. But, overall I have managed to control my anger better.
So, I am sharing a few things that helped me manage my anger and be a better parent. I hope they help you too;
- Realize and accept your problem
As it’s said, the first step to solve any problem is to acknowledge that there is a problem. Instead of blaming your kids and any other circumstances in your life, admit you are having anger problems. Once you accept it you can start working on your anger issues.
- Find your triggers
Recognize the situations or things that trigger your anger. For example, it could be your kids not following your directions, not eating their food, or it could a messy house. Recognizing these triggers will help you control your anger better.
- Deep Breaths
When you feel your anger bubbling up, focus on your breathing. In through the mouth, out through the nose, this will help you calm down a bit.
- Remove yourself from the situation
The moment you feel like yelling in one of your trigger situations, if possible remove yourself from there. Go to other room, kitchen, or even bathroom if that is your only option, to give yourself a moment to calm down. Tackle the situation when you feel better.
- The hair tie or bangle method
If you keep snapping at your children, this is a great method to control it. Tie 5 bands on your wrist when your kids are present. Remove one for every time you yell at your kids. Your goal is to keep all the ties on your wrist at the end of the day.
You can do this with bangles if you prefer them. For every removed band, you have to do something to make up for your anger, like hugging your child or say yes to one of their requests, etc.
When you yell at your child, apologize for your behavior. Take responsibility for your anger and behavior. It really helps with that mommy guilt you feel after.
- Take a break
Motherhood is stressful and exhausting, this stress and pressure can make you cranky. That’s why we all need a break to recharge ourselves. So take a break, whenever it’s possible.
Journaling can help you let out those bothering thoughts. It will help calm your jumbled mind. There are so many things you can’t say to people, so writing them down really helps.
Exercise is a great stress-buster. Go for a run, dance, or meditate, whatever you prefer to do, but make time for workout.
I hope the above-mentioned tips help you manage your anger better.
And if you are a parent who has gone through this, how did you cope with your anger problem? Do let me know in the comments section.